:-(

Yesterday and this morning have been really bad days for me recovery wise. Strange that its about 3 weeks later!!! But its been painful - hopefully it will get better :-/

Weekend - great! Memorial Day- Pure misery!!

Well just thought I would fill you in on how my weekend went! Saturday was fun.. it was my dads 50th birthday pool party! It was great to see all my family and a few friends even came out. It was so nice to lay out in the sun and hang out on the side of the pool in the water :) Miss Bella is such a WATER BUG! She never wanted to get out of the pool, I'm pretty sure she was in there all day long. It was so cute! SHE was adorable in her pink leapoard print bikini <3. And seeing as I am a sunscreen nazi she didn't get the least bit red! Still my pale lskinned little munchkin! She was pooped at the end of the day - we went back to Bryce's parents and she was out for the night..

Sunday we went to a friend's house and hung out in the pool again! Ofcourse Bella was in heaven again!! She stayed in the pool most of the day - and she even got to be little miss naked girl running around. For some reason she didn't want to stay in her bathing suit? It was adorable. And no sunburn again haha!

It was a busy weekend and I was feeling pretty sore Sunday night :( But I had fun so it was worth it.. but then Sunday night comes... eeeek... Bryce's mom made me a sandwich for dinner and the second she put it on my lap I thought "Uh ohhhh!!" Couldn't eat it.. I felt soo sick. I went to bed and woke up Monday feeling a bit better. I was nauseous and had a headache but I hadn't ate yet so I figured that was why.. if I don't eat right away my blood sugar gets low and I feel sick and get a headache - but we were meeting Bryce's grandparents for lunch at red lobster around noon so I didn't wanna spoil my appetite. Lunch was good - very filling.. then the ride home I started feeling vvverrryyy sick. Got back to Bryces moms and puked the entire day. It was terrible. We had to get back to our house (they live in greenfield!!) so the 40 minute ride home was not fun.. puking in the car.... I haven't felt that horrible in a long, long time. Brings back pregnancy memories!!! Bryce was worried thinking I was pregnant, but that is highly unlikely seeing as I am semi-fixed for 4 more years! So I assured him that I'm not pregnant, lol.

The cure to puking and feeling sick... (works for me everytime) draw the hottest bath that you can handle... sit in there for as long as you can! Once the water starts to cool, drain half of it and fill it back up with hott, hott water! Sip on some sprite. Works for me every time! I'm not sure if its because I am so comfortable in water.. or what, but thats what I did when I was pregnant and I did that last night for a couple hours. Oh yea, you also have to take a melatonin pill (all natural sleep aid) - so then once you feel better you can just pass out and try to sleep through it.

So I feel somewhat better this morning. Ofcourse I have nothing in my stomach. I'm going to try and eat later - I just hope I don't get sick again. And what was I thinking ever wanting to get preggers again?! I forgot how horrible it is to be so sick. I don't know if I could do that again for another 6 1/2 months throughout my pregnancy.. I'll just stick with this adopting plan if we can ever afford it in the future!

Doctor appt. today

My doctor appointment today went well. Nothing really exciting.. we did an x-ray and everything looks good. He said it just takes time to heal and for the bone to grow back together! He is going to see me again in 4-5 weeks and I assume we will do anothe x-ray to see how things look and hopefully see my bone growing together again. But I can get in the pool this week! And I can take my steri-strips off, wahoo!

Update :-D

Hello.......! Its been a few days since my last entry :-) I've been busy, tired, and busy so about the time I think about writing its the last thing on my mind. However, I thought I take a time-out from work and re-charge my batteries! That being said, yes, I started back at work this week. (From home, duh!) Its going well here, I don't know about there! I had plenty of work saved up to do - which is good but overwhelming. I'm getting there piece by piece, chunk by chunk! Its nice to have sometime to do throughout the day though. No complaints, besides my laptop causing some pain by sitting on my lap the whole time... there really isn't a comfortable way to do this! Oh well!

Pain control is still great :) I'm only taking pills to get me through the night, thats the most uncomfortable time. I mean I am still uncomfortable throughout the day and can defnitely feel it, I'd just rather not take the pills ya know? I'll just rough through it. I'm slowly but surely finding ways to stay incorporated in Bella's care, so she doesn't forget that she has a Mama! Oh she is SUCH a daddy's girl now :( She planned a mutiny and totally has a new captain now. I'm more or less like someone who you put in the bottom of the ship, and forget about! She wants Dada, all the time! Ugh! Is this how Bryce felt when I was the center of Bella's world? I am devising plans to when I am mobile again how I am going to take my position back.....! It makes me sad :( But anyway as I was saying I am able to actually get up a little bit more now. So Bryce helps me down to the stool next to her bath tub so I can bathe her now. (I know, my docs probably wouldn't like this, but I think I'm okay). We moved her highchair in the living room when she eats so we can eat together :-) And I lotion her after her baths and stuff. Thats about it. But atleast its something!!! <3

I've started to get a bit blah lately. Its just so hard not being able to do things for yourself, I can't stand it. Theres only so much tv you can watch, gossip magazines you can read... Lifetime movies to get pulled in to... Its so hard just not being able to move easily and go outside and do things. So I guess in a sense its kind of depressing? But lets see I have........... about 8 more weeks till I'm back at work? That will be nice because it means I can actually MOVE, and DRIVE! If it were my left leg it wouldn't be as big of an issue. But getting all that strength back in my leg is proving hard.. that being said...

PT Pain sessions with Bob Golic, aka Saved by the Bell College years RA (minus 100 pounds) - are going well! He was here again yesterday. Same stuff... this time I wasn't AS sore, probably because I was still sore from Monday! But I'm doing the stuff I can on my own at home so I can get a head start, atleast I think I am! Hes really nice and a good physical therapist. I have a doctors appointment with my surgeon here tomorrow at 11:30. My surgeon who did my first two surgeries is taking over my care from here on out so I don't have to go all the way to Chicago for follow-ups. THANK YOU! Hopefully that goes well!!

Oh yea, two days ago my crutch slipped out and I caught myself on... yup.. my bad leg! Ouchee, it hurt oh so bad. I'm sure a few not so great words slipped out, good thing I was home by myself! Ever since my leg has been hurting where they cut my femur in half, lol. So I'm hoping I didn't bend any screws or plates or anything... but Bryce assured me this would be hard to do! Regardless, they are doing x-rays tomorow so we'll see. I doubt it, but holy moly did that hurt!!

And I'm SOOO excited for this weekend!!! It will be the first time I've gotten out of the house! Tomorrow night we are going to Bryce's parents to stay the weekend. Saturday is my Dads 50th birthday and he has a nice inground pool, so we are having our annual "Bruce-a-palooza" pool party! My family does it every year. Theres a ton of us there seeing as my grandma has babies like rabbits - 10 kids.. (8 now) who all are married and have kids.. grandkids have kids.. I have 28 cousins on my dads side I think? Now I'm the oldest girl with only 4 older boy cousins - the rest of them are really small, like babies, toddlers, obnoxious 5 and 6 year olds :) LOL. Its so much fun though, wouldn't trade it for anything. I just think its funny that I have a child older than my Uncle Jimmy's, ha! And then Sunday we are going to church there and going to the Apple's for their memorial day pool party! Monday I can relax :-) SO I just plan on laying out really. I'm hoping my doc says tomorrow I can atleast swim, but as of now I still can't get my incision wet. Hopefully its all good though so I can jump in! Well not jump in, you know what I mean.. sit there on a step? Its still something!

I know I won't look so attractive in a bikini with a 15 inch fresh scar that still has steri-strips, and still kinda scabbed (lovely i know) - but I don't care! I'm just excited to finally get outside! I'll try and take it easy.

:-)

PT.. no mercy

Well my physical therapist came today. He showed no mercy! Now hes gone and I am sitting here in pain.. which I've been pain free for days now! But I guess pain is good, he said he isn't "wimpy" when it comes to therapy - I told him to bring it on! He said I did really good, and I feel I did - I'm excited to get some independence back...

Oh and my physical therapist looks JUST like the ex-football player from Saved By The Bell College years (Bob Golic) ! He is just taller and leaner but otherwise they are twins. I told him that, I don't know if he was thrilled... lol but he was nice and is coming again this Friday for another pain session, yey!

Boredom..

I've actually been doing really well at home. I'm getting the hang of things now :-). My pain is well controlled and I am able to cut back on the painkillers, which is GREAT - they had me taking 24 pills a DAY! Its nice not to be so loopy anymore. I probably only take about 6-8 a day now. I found a good way to sleep so its comfortable.. I place a pillow under my knee and a couple pillows under my back/neck so I'm slightly propped up. I can sleep through the night without taking pain pills.

Pretty much I just park it in the recliner, thats most comfortable! I'm hear all day for the most part.. I get up and move every once in a while so I can keep my blood flowing. I am taking blood thinners but my levels were really low and they said I was at increased risk for clotting so I take 2 pills a day now instead of 1. Bella I think is sad that I can't really play with her :( Shes very much the daddys girl now! But we snuggle a lot and yesterday we took a 2 hour nap together :).

PT is going to start coming twice a week. Bryce has been taking great care of Bella and I! He has a lot on his plate but he is doing soo good, I'm really proud of him! Its nice to be able to spend so much time together, despite the fact that I'm crippled!

But I really think I am doing well, much better than expected.. I'm surprising everyone!! Pain is good. I'm just not mobile, which is the kicker! I don't know when I will be able to drive.. stinks its my right leg! I can't bend my body past 70 degrees, either. But I am going to start working from home this Monday :-) Glad I will have something to keep me occupied.. and so glad I have an amazing work place that is helping me out! Or else Bryce and I would be really struggling financially. I miss all my co-workers!!! Thanks for all the encouraging words and support. :)

Oh Yea,,

My surgeon gave me a cd with my xays and stuff after surgery. I have a plate and 3 long screws on the outside of my femur pain. And he literally cut my femur IN HALF! right under the ball, you can see the line where it was completely cut off. No wonder I hurt so bad! I'm going to try and find a way to save the pic to my comp so I can post it..